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AYo!

Hi ho!!!!
zoopalow!!!!

best piece last 3 yrs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NEW YORK?Responding to recent events on Earth, God, the omniscient creator-deity worshipped by billions of followers of various faiths for more than 6,000 years, angrily clarified His longtime stance against humans killing each other Monday

http://www.theonion.com/onion3734/god_clarifies_dont_kill.html

Onion time

Peaches.

Hope Doyle Redland makes an appearance.

Here! 5th, 6th, & 7th

Best Headline ever in the Onion -- "Beer!!!!!"

Second Best -- "Holy Shit, Man Lands on Moon!"

Hi cathy, cathy, and cathy!

Oh my lack of god I love the Onion!

I love your show tonight!

Heidi ho, everybody! My, y'all are smellin' mighty flowery!

Did anyone hear Savage say that 1000 Iraqi prisoners should have dynamite shoved up their asses and be dropped from 3,500 feet?

Now why doesn't the NY Post or Daily News get all upset about that?

Sunshine, my favorite is off Satire Wire
"God Names Next "Chosen People"; It's Jews Again!"
"Oh Shit, says Jews"

DOYLE!

***What Are Your Nominations For CHARACTERS ON THE MRR BLOG?***
(send to email address below)

As part of interest in fleshing out the great, numerous, cool eccentric personality MRR Characters On The Blog, Nominations are now being accepted for MRR Blog Character's

MRR Blog Character's are distinguished in many ways and they are not necessarily a frequent poster or colorful but they should be a semi-regular poster here.

A MRR Blog Character distinguishes themselves in different ways to create their own area's or niche's.

I've got about a dozen in mind but I'm only going to use the most obvious one here as an illustration. Remember that a MRR blog character does not have to be as colorful as him.

The Idea would be to highlight the unique talents of a rotating number of MRR blog characters so that they could write their own monthly web column. This would mean that as many as 31 people a month could be a MRR blog character with room for a transition to new MRR blog characters when older ones have written one or a few columns or don't choose to write one anymore.

The first obvious choice for a MRR Character On The Blog is ---> Fishgrease <---
Fishgrease's Interrelated Distinction's are:

1) The Continuing Evolution, Growth & Learning of Fishgrease as a Liberal/Progressive in a mostly Republican undisclosed location in Wyoming

2) The Evolving Fishgrease Manifesto at:
http://www.fishmanifesto.com

3) All Things Fishgrease including its definition(at above URL), conversation with & conversion of Republicans, Conservatives, Independents, Etc. to considering not voting for bush, The Benefits & Meditation of Fishing, What is a Fishgreaser & Elements of Fishgreasing?, What is a Fishgrease Hat?(Janeane, Sam & GAP are going to be the first recipient's of a genuine Fishgrease Hat), All other things Fishgrease such as mention's of Fishgrease on MRR, FG sleeping with a Teddybear and much more.

OK, that Nomination wasn't hard to figure out.

What is your nomination for a MRR Character(s)? On The Blog?

Send your nomination(s) and a brief summary of why to:
MrrBlogCharacters@yahoo.com

*** Let me see if you guys had your way we would:

* legalize marijuana - In certain circumstances, yes - would that harm you?

* Marriage becomes what ever you want it to
be - Would that demean your marriage and love for your wife somehow? Why?

* America gives up sovereignty to the UN - Absurd right-wing BS being pandered to every card-carrying dittohead out there. ABSURD that we should be a fair player in this world! Everyone should be JUST LIKE US AND GET OVER IT!

* We are told what vehicles we can
drive (Except the liberal elite, they can fly
on private jets and ride in limos) - No, we'd have SUV's that were solar powered, or natural gas, or electric ... it is possible to upgrade to something better, that might solve this gas price problem in the first place.

* Everyone has free health care that isn't
that good (Liberal elitist will pay to money
for good health care) - Well, any "rich folk" would "pay to money for good health care" as you so eloquently put it, if they could. At least a free system would be representative of all citizens, not just the privileged.

No Thanks - And thank you for your comments!

Homeland security a.k.a. The KGB

Hi All

That's not true -- you cankill "mentally disturbed people in Texas"

Third Best headline == "Boy of Two, defies parents, jumps on bed"

Thanks Jim, That "God Clarifies No Kill Rule" is one of my favs from the Onion.

The 9-11 issue was incredible.

Is Jim Anchower in the house tonight? Smoove B?

Hey Kids!
It's Onion Time!

The whole 9-11 edition of the Onion was too right on.

OMG. Cheney wows 99-11 committee by drinking water while Bush speaks!

I also loved the Bush election issue:
"Long National Nightmare of Peace and Prosperity Finally Over."

you know how rnc protesters need to handle the nypd? stand up and applaud them when they show up. show them respect and courtesy and appreciation, and they'll be yours forever. don't resist, even 'passively'. if they want to arrest you, go willingly, and thank them as they cuff you.
do not do this as a 'joke'... you need to mean it.

Posted by rctowns at May 18, 2004 09:34 PM

My bro-in-law is an NYC cop. They're getting 2-4 hrs a week classroom training and doing field exercises on "crowd control" just for the GOP convention. The training, he says, follows what the "feds" did in Miami during the anti-globalization protests. The Secret Service and other federal agencies already have advance teams in NYC since April 5 AND they, regardless of what you read or hear in the media, are in control. A whole bunch of new crowd control equipment has suddenly appeared -- bean guns, tasers, hand-held 10-round tear gas projectors, body armor, interlocking shields, etc. One of his buds is a K-9 and he said that they're calling in K-9's and mounted cops from surrounding states. The NYPD is coming armed for bear. These guys are being trainied to not engage ANY protester in conversation - ONLY action. Engaging these guys will be, at a minimum, adventurous. Courtesy, yes; applause or ANYTHING they might perceive as "mocking," should not be on your menu of actions.

let's all say cracker

united we stand!!!

"Four people have been arrested over the beheading of Nicholas Berg, Iraq sources say. The 26-year-old businessman's body was found ten days ago in Baghdad, his killing was shown around the world on the Internet. It's not known who these four people are," and this is a French News Agency that's basically reported this, right? "Four people have been arrested over the beheading of Nick Berg..." Of course everybody knows that Zarqawi, Abu Mussab al-Zarqawi was the man who actually committed the murder.

This story, however, is wrong. The story says he's "a top ally of Al-Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden." He's not. Zarqawi has set up a competing terrorist network. He's competing against bin Laden. There's a fabulous story in the most recent issue of the – [talking to staff] Brian, I hate to tell you this, but I think you were right. When I turn my feed, my volume down here, it helped a little bit. Yeah, I'm not above admitting when I was wrong, don't have to do it much. It is a fabulous story in the Weekly Standard this week about Zarqawi, from where he comes. He's a Jordanian Palestinian. He's got a chip on his shoulder like you can't believe just over his whole existence.


Now, remember the big letter that Zarqawi wrote that was intercepted in Iraq some months ago? It was the letter in which Zarqawi was suggesting that civil war between the Shi'ites and the Sunnis be fomented, and in that letter he expressed respect for bin Laden, he said (summarizing) "Well, do what you want if you want us to do it, but tell us what you want us to do" and so forth. Apparently there has not been sufficient response from bin Laden. Bin Laden is ignoring Zarqawi and apparently Zarqawi has now set up his own independent competing terrorist network, and he's not really part of Al-Qaeda. Has been, he's worked with them, but he's not an official Al-Qaeda member according to this Weekly Standard piece. It just goes to show what the case is over there. You know, terrorists from all over the world are gathering there (in Iraq).

I had a big weekend down in Miami and I did my best to keep politics out of all this but, you know, it's just not possible. When it came up I had to once again deal with people who believe that there are more terrorists in the world today because of us. "Because we are responding to what happened to us on 9/11, we are creating more terrorists," and I said, "Well fine, let's just stop pursuing all criminals, because using that theory, if somebody comes into your neighborhood and starts raping the women, we're going to really make him mad if we try to catch him; and if we make him mad then he's going to start kidnapping the kids in the neighborhood. So let's just say, 'Okay, you did the rapes. We'll forget it if you move on.' Is that how we're going to do things here?"

I'll tell you, some of the cockamamie conspiracy theories that the left has evolved to deal with this! We're the good guys; we're creating terrorists! We are creating terrorists, like we are creating murderers? Okay, then, we created the kids at Columbine. Okay, we created this guy that killed Dru Sjodin. Where does this stop? I mean, the root of this silly belief system is that the U.S. is evil, that the U.S. is the focus of evil -- and this is what the left thinks. Actually, just being consistent. So it is not known if Zarqawi is among the four people who have been arrested and being held for the death of Nick Berg.

Now, one other thing about Zarqawi. People have forgotten this. You know, Colin Powell is out there answering questions, "Well, how do you feel now about what you said United Nations Security Council, weapons of mass destruction?" He says, "I feel pretty bad about it. Feel pretty bad about it, but I relied on the best intelligence that we had" and so forth and so on. Well, if you go back and look at what Colin Powell said, he also warned us about Abu Mussab Zarqawi in that speech that he delivered to the Security Council, when we're trying to get the vote on the resolution to go ahead and authorize force in Iraq, or at least get the international community behind us. He spelled out who this Zarqawi fellow is. He warned us; he told everyone. I'm sure he remembers it. But I mean, if Powell wanted to when asked this question, "Well, how do you...?" and speaking of weapons of mass destruction, what is sarin nerve gas? What is mustard gas? You know, there's more than one canister we've found, more than one is plural to me and, you know, sarin can be hidden inside a mortar that looks just like a regular mortar. It doesn't say, "CAUTION: Sarin Gas Inside!." You can just put it in there and it fits inside a normal shell, and Saddam did this. Saddam had -- What was the measurement, 10,000, I forget, units? -- whatever it was, but in order to fool Inspector Clouseau, Hans Blix, Hussein did take all the markings off of the shells that had been filled with sarin.


So everybody is saying, "Well, this doesn't mean we found weapons of mass destruction." No, the sun came up but it doesn't mean the sun came up, doesn't mean it's daylight. We found sarin gas! "Well, it doesn't mean we found the weapons of mass destruction." Well, what the hell is it? "Well, it could have been brought in at any time." It's there, isn't it? It came from somewhere. If it was brought in, it's there, if it was found stored in Iraq -- and people know it. The real question now is the question that I, your host, have been asking from the get-go ever since everybody was rushing to judgment saying, "There are no weapons of mass destruction. David Kay said so, everybody said so." The real question is: Where are they? Because we know they existed. All right, so we've got these two bombs, these two canisters of sarin and mustard, and so I ask the question again: "Where's the rest of the stuff?" Where is it? That's what we ought to be asking. Syria? Could still be in Baghdad for all I know. How the hell do we know where this stuff is kept? The idea that we were in six months able to search the whole country and say with assuredness, "Well, no weapons of mass destruction here." We've been through how you can miniaturize this stuff.

ASK him about the paper in China that thought the Onion story about the rectractable dome on the Capitol building and ran it verbatim.

Granted, the first post-Sept. 11 issue was the best Onion issue ever. But give us a break, you guys - the Onion jumped the shark a long time ago.

One of my faves...

"Inspirational Poster Kitten Falls to Death After 17 Years" - You must see the picture with the headline.

PRICELESS.

Well he couldn't ask Cheney, that's for sure

LOS ANGELES—A surprising new study released Monday by UCLA's Institute For Child Development revealed that human babies, long thought by psychologists to be highly inquisitive and adaptable, are actually extraordinarily stupid.

I especially liked:

1) Holy Shit, Man Walks On Fucking Moon

and

2) Pope Resigns saying "God ain't said shit to me
in years."

"ask a cop with a gut shot wound"

Here's a headline for you.

Bush follows the yellow brick road, in search of a brain.

I can tell you which father the little shit would seek help from when he needed cash for bail or a quicky south of the border abortion.

David the Conservative,
For your information, Western Europeans have free health care that is in fact better than what you have in the States.
Posted by frngy at May 18, 2004 09:58 PM

Have you been to Europe??? I know a guy who is on a four month waiting list for surgery. I'm sure there are liberals on this blog that have horror stories.

Posted by David The Conservative at May 18, 2004 10:05 PM

for crying out loud jesica is a cracker if ever there was a cracker

Donna Summer said God invented disco so she could become famous.

The article
God Names Chosen People; It's Jews Again"
ends with
"Americans, meanwhile, expressed outrage at the decision, saying they had assumed THEY were God's Chosen People. However, explained Archbishop Carey, "It only seems that way because so many people don't like you."

Speaking of seeing into the future, MAD tv did a segment about a psychic wear someone asked the psychic, "what were you doing on 9/10?"

God told my Aunt to vote for Bush too
If they believe in God then they have
to believe in the Devil.
How do they know it was not the devil
with Gods voice? LOL

Why do you think they call hime Rush?

sam has a man crush

Funny that G Dubya, good Christian that he is, had the highest rate of executions in his state when he was Governor. Hasn't he ever heard of "Thou Shalt Not Kill?" Maybe his buddy God forgot to tell him that one.

Bush says terrorists are behind Newsweek approval rating poll

By John Breneman

www.humorgazette.com

>>http://home.nc.rr.com/albalane/MRposts.jpg
Can't get the link to work. :(
Posted by Darlenenbc at May 18, 2004 10:05 PM

It should work.
Posted by: wanda at May 18, 2004 10:06 PM
============================================

Hey, wanda:

I gotta ask -- did you say that about making a chart because you saw my "Unemployment and the Presidents" chart? Or, were you just taking a stab?

If anybody hasn't seen my chart on the corelation between Unemployemt and the occupents of 1600, check it out at:

http://home.nc.rr.com/albalane/unemp.jpg

Hint: Unemployment goes up under Republicans and down under Democrats. Chart is based on raw data from U.S. Department of Labor, Bureau of Labor Statistics (and we all know what a pinko-commie-america-hating outfit that is!). ROFL

hillbilly heroine lol

Did anyone hear Savage say that 1000 Iraqi prisoners should have dynamite shoved up their asses and be dropped from 3,500 feet?

Now why doesn't the NY Post or Daily News get all upset about that?

Posted by dan at May 18, 2004 10:07 PM

I listen to Savage all the time and he was talking about the terrorist that killed Berg.

:
:
:
Wisconsin rep rez ents!!!
:
:
:

God unable to feed poor; busy helping NFL star catch touchdown pass

The 9/11 issue was amazing. my favorite story was the one about the woman baking the flag cake. I laughed, I cried.

"WA " (headline continued on page 6)

Did anyone hear Savage say that 1000 Iraqi prisoners should have dynamite shoved up their asses and be dropped from 3,500 feet?

Now why doesn't the NY Post or Daily News get all upset about that?

Posted by dan at May 18, 2004 10:07 PM

I listen to Savage all the time and he was talking about the terrorist that killed Berg.

"The idea that we were in six months able to search the whole country and say with assuredness, "Well, no weapons of mass destruction here." We've been through how you can miniaturize this stuff."

Indeed, if this is proof of a massive stockpile, this means that they are in the hands of terrorists and, well, who do you blame for that? How about a shitty occupation plan that allows terrorist to acquire it.

BY the way, that sarin killed no one -- the sarin in Tokyo killed 12 people. My dad has a shotgun that could kill six people no problem, so I will lable that a weapon of semi-mass destruction.

bush the cracker grandmaster

A Times calling The Onion the funniest news source reminds me of when George Burns used to call Jack Benny the funniest man in show biz.

yep, it's a fact, bush is a joke

Yeah right, that's the problem with this administration is that it makes creating legitimate irony really really difficult.

Good list Janeane!

And once Bush is out of office... You, Janeane... YOU!

Evenin' bloggers

Jessica Simpson performed at Bush's inaugural. Britney is also a Repug.

>>I know a guy who is on a four month waiting list for surgery.<<

1. What kind of surgery?

2. I know people in Johnstown, PA who are working poor and can't go to the dentist. What's your point?

3. How many Americans lack health insurance?

yes yes JG is hero

deloris huerto
lucy parsons
jeanne garofalo

"... the sarin in Tokyo killed 12 people..."

And those were absolutely ideal consitions. There were hundreds and hundreds of people crammed into that small, dense, enclosed area. The sarin was ideally distributed. Really, they would have gotten more deaths by shouting "fire."

You guys rock! I just looooooooove the Majority Report!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!

>LOS ANGELES—A surprising new study released Monday by UCLA's Institute For Child Development revealed that human babies, long thought by psychologists to be highly inquisitive and adaptable, are actually extraordinarily stupid.<

Chimps babies and human babies are about equal intelligence until they reach 18 months or so. At that point ONE of them pulls ahead.

>Hey, wanda:
I gotta ask -- did you say that about making a chart because you saw my "Unemployment and the Presidents" chart? Or, were you just taking a stab?<

no, cause the data was stacked so nicely.

Jessica Simpson performed at Bush's inaugural. Britney is also a Repug.

Posted by at May 18, 2004 10:15 PM

Ok you got me on that one but we do have Dennis Miller.

Jumped on the bandwagon! That's hilarious!

>>I listen to Savage all the time and he was talking about the terrorist that killed Berg.<<

Go listen to him again on his site. he said 1000 prisoners.

".....chewin' up the red meat like a pack of wild dogs."

PRICELESS

That's why we need to hold this régime legally responsible for their actions. I don't mean impeachment, I mean they must be tried for treason

My favorite Onion column was "Point Counterpoint - You da' man. No YOU da' man!"

Check this out:

http://news.com.com/2100-1028_3-5214944.html

Group of tech execs rallies 'round Bush

By Declan McCullagh
Staff Writer, CNET News.com
          
A star-studded list of technology executives on Wednesday plan to endorse President Bush for another term, saying they believe that the Republican candidate's positions are a better choice for the high-technology industry.

The endorsement at a Seattle event by the group of executives, including Dell Chairman Michael Dell, Teledesic Chairman Craig McCaw and former Microsoft Executive Vice President Bob Herbold, represents the latest round of jockeying between Republicans and Democrats over which presidential candidate can claim the most tech-friendly stance.

The event coincides with the release of a short Web video clip titled "Innovators" that features tech leaders touting Bush. The video clip also includes eBay CEO Meg Whitman, Barksdale Management CEO Jim Barksdale and Autodesk Chairman Carol Bartz.

"After several tough years, tech is bouncing back," Bartz says in the video. "This is due in no small measure to this administration's pro-growth policies." Cisco Systems CEO John Chambers adds that Bush "understands the key high-tech issues," such as how best to deploy broadband connections.

In general, Silicon Valley executives appear to prefer Democrats on social issues and Republicans on business ones. Internet and computer companies that operate their own political action committees (PACs) have given an average of 60 percent of their money to Republicans over the last four elections--and only 40 percent to Democrats. The Republican-leaning PACs include ones run by eBay, EDS, Gateway, Hewlett-Packard, Intuit, Texas Instruments, VeriSign and Yahoo. Telecommunications and electronics PACs tend to be even more aggressively Republican.

Like Bush, Democratic candidate John Kerry has made outreach attempts in Silicon Valley, which have included landing Apple Computer CEO Steve Jobs as an informal adviser.

But Kerry's views run the risk of alienating some technology executives. He has told the AFL-CIO that he is critical of "excessive" executive compensation and added that "I also support expensing stock options." Bush, on the other hand, has in the past said he supports the current mechanism of not expensing them.

Kerry has also inveighed against "Benedict Arnold CEOs," who move jobs to foreign countries--a stance that has riled some Silicon Valley executives who operate overseas research labs.

The Bush campaign has been more guarded about its views on offshoring, although a top presidential adviser made headlines in February after suggesting that offshoring is just the latest example of free trade, which is good for America.

Anonymous Posters usually are COWARD'S with kneejerk unsubstaniated uninformed BS Opinions.

Pick a Nick! or

Put a Sock In It!

Hi Goody, nice to see you!

The real "I Told You So Rally" will happen in November. Hope Bush has a bunch of those packing peanuts stashed!

........

MR should do a SALUTE to BUSH RIGHT NOW!!

.......

lol....
that would confuse the right wing media so badly.

>LOS ANGELES?A surprising new study released Monday by UCLA's Institute For Child Development revealed that human babies, long thought by psychologists to be highly inquisitive and adaptable, are actually extraordinarily stupid.<

Chimps babies and human babies are about equal intelligence until they reach 18 months or so. At that point ONE of them pulls ahead.
Posted by cathy in seattle at May 18, 2004 10:16 PM

Cathy:

Obviously, Bush is the one Chimp who succeeded to pull ahead and stay behind at the same time!

what if you hear one more thing about... cracker

I'll never forget a couple years ago when
Michael Moore spoke in Oshkosh, WI and he
said something Wisconsin can truly be proud
of was its news source, the Onion.

And this old man and woman stood up stage right
in about the 10th row or so and they just stood
there smiling.

After a little while, Moore stopped talking
and said "can I help you?" and the woman of
the couple looks at her husband and back to
Moore and she says "The graphic design major
who cofounded that paper, is our son."

All Moore could think to say right away was
"well, you must be mighty proud of your son
for his sense of humor."

We all clapped til our hands hurt.

marco

What? Did I just hear them say "waxing the cane"?

"waxing the cane"?

i don't get it.

>>Ok you got me on that one but we do have Dennis Miller.<<

You can have him.

David the Conservative
I'm in Europe at least once a year. I have family and friends that live throughout Europe and for every one of your "horror" stories I can give you dozens of testimonials from satisfied "patients", or as you might prefer, "customers." When was the last time you left the country let alone your own room?

question for todd: what's vietnam?

Really, they would have gotten more deaths by shouting "fire."
Posted by Vioxel (vee-OAK-sel) at May 18, 2004 10:16 PM

That, too, is a WMD and you will read about it in Tomorrow's Post -- shhhh, don't point em out to dem dar Conservatives. They're ever so sneeky!

I'll never forget a couple years ago when
Michael Moore spoke in Oshkosh, WI and he
said something Wisconsin can truly be proud
of was its news source, the Onion.

And this old man and woman stood up stage right
in about the 10th row or so and they just stood
there smiling.

After a little while, Moore stopped talking
and said "can I help you?" and the woman of
the couple looks at her husband and back to
Moore and she says "The graphic design major
who cofounded that paper, is our son."

All Moore could think to say right away was
"well, you must be mighty proud of your son
for his sense of humor."

We all clapped til our hands hurt.

marco

Hey, Todd:

quick, define irony. (be original) and why don't conservatives get it?

Gee.

Republicans drop antitrust lawsuit against Gates.
MS endorses Republicans.

Whoda thunk?

Todd: How does someone apply for a job at The Onion? I heard someone (you?) interview on NPR, so I know the answer, but it's interesting anyway.

Question:

Todd, what are your inspirations for starting The Onion?

Kudos to the Onion horoscopes; they've been a Wednesday staple in my office for years.

...

Question to the Onion:

Why can't those Iraqis Love us and be a good democratic country like Jesus wants it?

.........

question for todd: Is Janeane as sexy in person as she is on tv/radio?

Love the onion. How does one get a job at the onion??

~~~ Pick a Nick! ~~~

Fuckin' A, Patriot.

Here are two related items about the impending military draft that you might find of interest (I missed the first hour of the show, so these might have already been covered).

http://www.prospect.org/weblog/archives/2004/05/index.html#003014

IT'S DRAFTY IN HERE. A friend of mine who is currently an inactive Army reservist forwarded me some memos he received regarding future mobilizations -- memos that indicate that we are not far from some kind of conscription in the next few years. According to my friend, recruiters are telling inactive reservists that they're going to be called up one way or another eventually, so they might as well sign up now and get into non-Iraq-deploying units while they still can. There's also a "warning order" -- i.e., a heads-up -- from the Army's personnel command that talks about the involuntary transfer of inactive reservists to the active reserves, and thus into units that are on deck for the next few Iraq rotations.

My understanding of how reserve call-ups work is imperfect, but if memory serves, the inactive reservists -- known as the Individual Ready Reserve -- are people who have already fulfilled their term of enlistment but can be called up as individuals if the military needs their particular skills or specialty badly enough. In other words, after a couple of years of dipping into the main reserves -- essentially chewing through them to sustain post-9/11 deployments, the Afghanistan occupation, and then the Iraq invasion -- we're now dipping into the inactive reserves. And if we still need more manpower after that -- well, then we start drafting.

There is no question we do not have enough manpower (among other things) in the active-duty military to sustain our current "operations tempo," as the military wonks call it. And there are many good arguments to be made for reinstating the draft, albeit one that would look very different from the corrupt and unfair Vietnam-era draft. It's worth thinking now about what kind of draft we'd like to see if the need for one becomes inavoidable.

--Nick Confessore

http://www.military.com/NewsContent/0,13319,FL_irs_051804,00.html

IRS May Help DOD Find Reservists
Fort Worth Star-Telegram
May 18, 2004

FORT WORTH, Texas - The Defense Department, strapped for troops for missions in Iraq and Afghanistan, has proposed to Congress that it tap the Internal Revenue Service to locate out-of-touch reservists.

The unusual measure, which the Pentagon said has been examined by lawyers, would allow the IRS to pass on addresses for tens of thousands of former military members who still face recall into the active duty.

The proposal has largely escaped attention amid all the other crises of government, and it is likely to face opposition from privacy rights activists who see information held by the IRS as inviolate.

For it to become practice, Congress and President Bush would have to approve the proposal, which would involve amending the tax code.

Ari Schwartz, an associate director of the Center for Democracy and Technology in Washington, said granting access to any IRS data would open the door to more requests from other arms of the government.

Just a few years ago, Congress strengthened the privacy provisions of the tax code, he said.

"There are other ways to solve the problem they have, without putting the tax information at risk," Schwartz said. "We would hope that those members who worked only four or five years ago on strengthening tax-privacy laws would stand up and say this is a bad idea."

Lt. Col. Bob Stone, a spokesman for the assistant defense secretary for reserve affairs, said the proposal was developed several years ago and is unconnected to the Army's current shortage of troops.

Part or all of nine of the Army's 10 active-duty divisions are deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan, and 167,000 members of the reserves or National Guard are on active duty, with thousands more on alert for mobilization.

Unknown to most Americans, though, is the existence of the Individual Ready Reserve, which has more than 280,000 members.

The IRR is a distinctly different animal than the drilling reserves or National Guard.

Those in the IRR are people who have completed their active-duty tours but are subject to involuntary recall for a certain number of years. For example, a soldier who serves four years on active duty remains in the IRR for another four years.

During that time, however, they receive no pay, do not drill with a unit and are otherwise completely civilian.

The problem for the Pentagon is that the whereabouts of 50,200 of those veterans are unknown to the Army, Navy, Marine Corps and Air Force. The largest number - 40,700 - are former Army GIs.

Because Texas sends more people into the service than almost any other state, it's a good bet many are in the Lone Star State.

"While the military today is comprised of an all-volunteer force, every individual who volunteers for service in the armed forces voluntarily accepts an eight-year military service obligation," Stone said.

The troops are required to keep the services' updated on their residences, but many do not. Thirty-four percent of former Army soldiers cannot be tracked. The unknowns in the other services are in the single digit percentages.

"One of the difficulties that the military services confront is keeping addresses current," Stone said.

The Defense Department has called on members of the IRR before. About 7,000 people have been recalled since 9-11, Stone said. Approximately 30,000 were recalled for service during the buildup for the Persian Gulf War in 1990 and 1991, he said.

this guy is funny as hell ima make more effort to go to the onion.

http://mobile.theonion.com/

Liza, There was just so much there to work wiith...so many jokes to be made. Finally, I just had to put it out there for someone else to use. Bravo darling!

How did Todd Hanson get a job at The Onion? Must have been during the Clinton economy, I can't even get a job writing Pottery Barn Catalogs...

But here's a doomy, gloomy question: What happens to the passion, energy, and down-right gust of ethusiasm if/when Bush steals another one? I've noticed a lot of people getting involved that were usually disenchanted by the political process. But they found a cause to fight for. I'm afraid that a defeat in November will kill the revolution.

why onion, i mean i can think of a few reasons, but what does todd say?

Do not believe what you have heard.
Do not believe in tradition because it is handed down many generations.
Do not believe in anything that has been spoken of many times.
Do not believe because the written statements come from some old sage.
Do not believe in conjecture.
Do not believe in authority or teachers or elders.
But after you have careful observation and analysis, when it agrees with reason and it will benefit one and all, then accept it and live by it.

Budda~
(563 B.C.-483 B.C.)

how'd that guy get so smart?

you need to get alex jones of infowars.com on the show even alan colmes had the balls to have him on his show
i know you guys got bigger balls
get him on

**I'll never forget a couple years ago when
Michael Moore spoke in Oshkosh**
Posted by marco at May 18, 2004 10:17 PM

Greetings fellow Cheese head! Waiting for Todd to give a shout out to the Wisconsin folks streaming tonight.

Woman At Farscape Convention Has Dangerously Inflated Self-Image

I listen to Savage all the time and he was talking about the terrorist that killed Berg.

Posted by David The Conservative at May 18, 2004 10:13 PM
--------------------
Well, he does mention Berg's parents at the end of this drug-induced rant...

Savage on what should be done to the Iraqi prisoners:

And I think there should be no mercy shown to these sub-humans. I believe that a thousand of them should be killed tomorrow. I think a thousand of them held in the Iraqi prison should be given 24 hour -- a trial and executed. I think they need to be shown that we are not going to roll over to them. It won't happen. It won't happen because of the CBS Communists. It won't happen because of the CNN traitors. I won't happen because of the MSNBC empty heads. And we the people are the ones who are going to suffer today. ...

Instead of putting joysticks, I would have liked to have seen dynamite put in their orifices and they should be dropped from airplanes. How's that? You like that one? Go call somebody that you want to report me to, see if I care. They should put dynamite in their behinds and drop them from 35,000 feet, the whole pack of scum out of that jail. Thank you CBS. Thank you New Yorker. Thank you Carl Levin. Thank you Ted Kennedy. Thank you Hillary Clinton. I'm sure that Mr. Berg's parents appreciate what you've done for them. I'll be right back.

http://mediamatters.org/items/200405130004

Todd,
I know you advertise once in a while for
account executives. Do you ever get a potential
advertiser say s/he's worried that the readership
won't take the ad seriously?

Onion guy,

Is it true Rush is seeking corporate welfare so he can upgrade his ditto heads to photo copy heads?

define irony""

the taste in granny's well!

( do i grt the crotchless MRR pjamas?)

JOHN ASHCROFT COVERS STATUE OF DAVID WITH AIR AMERICA RADIO THONG. SAYS HE PREFERS THONG OVER BRIEFS!!

Tell Todd I still laugh at the 9/11 issue...oy, the guilt!

Hey, can Sam and Janeane let Todd give those headline scoops?

Waiting patiently...

? for TODD.

Why isn't PATHETIC GEEK STORIES no longer on the Onion AV Club????

David the Conservative
I'm in Europe at least once a year. I have family and friends that live throughout Europe and for every one of your "horror" stories I can give you dozens of testimonials from satisfied "patients", or as you might prefer, "customers." When was the last time you left the country let alone your own room?

Posted by frngy at May 18, 2004 10:18 PM

What happened to George Harrison? He had money and still got a quack. Thats just one of many stories.

Great to see some decent left-wing media coming out of America. We could learn a thing or two from Airamerica here in Australia.

But seriously, you guys on Air America - Why do you keep criticizing our President? Why must you loudly criticize everything he says and does? After all, he is the President.

Bush: "We're Not At War" Bush denies war, says he's just expanding the death penalty to include Arabs, the poor, and our military heroes.

I'VE GOT A QUESTION:

I heard the first issue of the Onion to come out after Sept. 11 was considered for a Pulitzer or a Nobel Prize or something... Is that right?

(sorry if this has already been asked)

-Lee

There are many good souls here who, like good liberals, attempt to force some consciousness into Dave The Conservatives willfully benighted brain. While an admirable exercise, it reminds me of my favorite adage: Trying to teach a pig to sing is a waste of time and it annoys the pig.

David the Conservative
I'm in Europe at least once a year. I have family and friends that live throughout Europe and for every one of your "horror" stories I can give you dozens of testimonials from satisfied "patients", or as you might prefer, "customers." When was the last time you left the country let alone your own room?

Posted by frngy at May 18, 2004 10:18 PM

What happened to George Harrison? He had money and still got a quack. Thats just one of many stories.

>>Bush is the one Chimp who succeeded to pull ahead and stay behind at the same time!<<

Isn't this a French euphemism for masturbation?

Question for Todd:
My cousin Wayne, who lives in Waco,Texas tells me that he has heard that a GW Bush has applied to the Crawford,Texas radio station for it's morning farm report. Any truth to this?

Hey Sam, You should do a little piece called '
MR saluting Bush'. (in Ironic and sarcastic tone, of course)

Just to confuse and piss off those right wing radio. mix around their standard lies.

Hey Now!

Why can't The Onion accept submissions from other than Onion writers? Maybe you could have a guest column once in awhile.

Keep up the great work!

whatever happened to the onion tv show??

hey Onion guy. please continue with the photoshopped photos of Rummy. the Secretary's Day photos still give me the giggles.

do some interviews with old washed up actors. real interviews. where has Richard Benjamin been all these years?

Savage should ask himself, "WWCJWD - What would captain Janeway do?"

Bush = Chimp. Oops! We don't want to insult chimps! But damn! He does look like one, only uglier!

Love the Shell ad. If they do a good job that reef might be there for another 100 years. Shouldn't they set the bar a little higher?

The Onion seems to be the natural successor to the National Lampoon magazine. Did the Lampoon inform your overall dynamic in the development of the Onion? Or did all the stuff you write just pop into your head?

-------

question question,...
DO you think ONION and AAR will ever merge?
how about Onion do a hostile take over of AAR?

heh heh.....

Roaming Gnome Visits Alabama -- Cornholed

>> I listen to Savage all the time and he was talking about the terrorist that killed Berg. <<

To that rationale, the Iraqi "prisoners" were not responsible for Berg's death, now were they? Why didn't you mention that in your rebuttal? Because Savage was referring to the liberated, no, the dissenting, NO, the now labeled INSURGENTS of Iraq...(when ICRC says 70% of prisoners could be innocent) Tell me, what are the people of Iraq to us now? I'd like to know - enemy or friend? It seems we've been duped, DTC, and the truth will be told.

But seriously, you guys on Air America - Why do you keep criticizing our President? Why must you loudly criticize everything he says and does? After all, he is the President.

Posted by: Ken Armstrong at May 18, 2004 10:21 PM

============================================

I think a main factor in our harsh words directed towards bush relate to his fundamental insanity and overal unstable nature. To be perfectly honest he scares me and he isn't even my president....

todd: describe the taste of sacred cow.

comment for Todd Hanson of The Onion...

I wrote an "Onion" headline in a dream a few months ago:

"Oil Discovered in Iraq!"

Just think, what was a humanitarian exercise might end up being profitable!

Huw

What happens to the passion, energy, and down-right gust of ethusiasm if/when Bush steals another one?
Posted by: Novakane at May 18, 2004 10:20 PM
============================================

I'm seeing tens of millions of patriots in the streets of D.C. brandishing torches and pitchforks.

cauliflower ear

My girlfriend's mother always refers to Bush as "Incurious George" siting how much he looks like Curious George's halfwit brother.

Question for Todd:

My cousin Wayne who lives in Waco,Texas tells me he has heard that a GW Bush has applied to the Crawford,Texas radio station for it's morning farm radio report. Any truth to this?

Roaming Gnome Visits Alabama -- Cornholed

LMFAO

Hey Todd,

Is Bush Satan?

Roaming Gnome Visits Alabama -- Cornholed

yeah, that's it!

Question for Todd:

Do you have a ritual for preparing yourself to write such funny material?

How do you get those same six guys to answer the man on the street questions? Errrrrr

Okay, here's a question for Todd. Who are all those people in the photographs in The Onion? Just random models that are hired?

Ask Todd about his beard!

Tom Scharpling, creator of The Majority Report

How can my picture end up in the Onion?

Didn't mean to post it twice twice

WHY DOESN'T THE ONION HAVE A BLOG?!

The Vietnam war forced American marijuana growers to improve their crops.

How would Rich Lowery no about any atrocities in Vietnam. How much time has he ever spent in the military.

I GOT A QUESTION!

When is the Onion going to expanded beyond the four current editions?

Todd: How come your horoscope column is always so much more accurate than other papers'?

What do you knopw about Area 51

. . . a French euphemism for masturbation?
Posted by: Adamo at May 18, 2004 10:21 PM
=========================================

Balling the Jaques?

isn't that sarcasm?

Could you guys mention that the killing of Berg was a CIA psi-op, that the killers don't look like arabs and were speaking Russian. Thanks.

Ask Todd to tell the world about The Onion's AV Club - One of the most consistently great cultural review sources around. Who's behind it? You and the other regular Onion writers, or some other crew?

-Matt

"...when the actual meaning is the opposite of the literal meaning..." or something like that

Republicans are lost behind the Irony Curtain

Good question! Who are those people in the photos?

Earth to Ken!!! Wake up the Man that is posing as our president is the DEVIL!!!

Todd.....................

The Pope and I have a birthday wish...........
Your My Heroes
PLEASE start focusing on 9/11

Too many mindblowing unanswered questions that would get these criminals out of here.

The 9/11 Commission's Eleventh Public Hearing
Topic: Emergency Response

Tuesday, May 18 & Wednesday, May 19
8:45 AM

New School University
John L. Tishman Auditorium
66 West 12th Street
New York City

~*~

Homework:

Has anyone been to any 911 websites at all?

Below is the 911 family steering committee website.
http://911independentcommission.org/

These heroic people are the ones who never stopped pushing for an investigation.

PLEASE carefully read all their unanswered questions.

Research these also:

http://www.ny911truth.org
http://physics911.org/
http://www.september11news.com/

Below are a couple of the questions they want former mayor to answer tomorrow........

1. A few short weeks after 9/11, tons of metal from the collapsed twin towers was sold to scrap yards in New Jersey. Thereafter, the steel was re-sold to other recyclers in the United States and overseas. Anecdotal evidence suggests that the “scrap” has ended up in India, Japan, South Korea, China and Malaysia.

It is the FSC’s position that the thousands of pounds of debris was crime-scene evidence. It should have been examined, catalogued, and stored in a secure location.Why were the steel beams sold and shipped overseas and not retained as evidence? Was the material examined before it was sent overseas? If examined, then by whom? Were any diagnostic studies/tests performed? If not, then why? Whose responsibility was this?

Former FBI Acting Director Thomas Pickard said that the FBI wanted to take over Ground Zero and make it a crime scene as was done at the Pentagon. If that had occurred all materials from the scene would have been protected until an investigation was complete. Pickard also stated that you, Mayor Giuliani, would not allow the FBI access to the pit area. Is this accurate? If so, then what was your reason for keeping the nation’s chief investigatory team­the FBI, out of Ground Zero?

10. Why did you ask to have your records as Mayor of New York City sealed for 25 years?

12. Mr. Giuliani, several members of the Family Steering Committee attended a meeting with you in 2002 at which time you told us that you were against, and would not support, the formation of an independent commission to examine the events of 9/11.

Why did you oppose the creation of this commission? Given the revelations that have emerged during commission hearings, do you still regard their work as unimportant and unnecessary? Do you now believe it is beneficial to have the public well informed about the actions of the government, its agencies and its public officials?

Wow.

Todd,
Would the Onion consider providing New York convention floor coverage psa's?

Hey Todd!

Why is the left funnier? (or are we really not funnier and we just think we are?)

Irony is when fate plays a perfect injustice.

Anonymous Posters usually are COWARD'S with kneejerk unsubstaniated uninformed BS Opinions.

Pick a Nick! or

Put a Sock In It!

Posted by Great American Patriot at May 18, 2004 10:17 PM
-----------------------
Apparently, you folks are happier with a troll manipulating you guys night after night, though...

I'm sorry, either ignore trolls, or be prepared to engage the same insecure poster with at least three nicks on tonight's blog.

Gotta be one way or the other.

I always like George Carlin's definition of irony.

If a diabetic gets run over by a truck while crossing the road, that's tragic.

If a diabetic gets run over by a truck carring a load of insulin, THAT'S ironic.

P.S. - Todd, does the Onion take e-mail submissions?

Ethan Hawke says, "When the actual meaning is the complete opposite of the literal meaning"

Ps. Janeane rocked in Reality Bites <3

Laura Ingraham likes Los Lonely Boys better than Los Lobos. She says Los Lobos is too much Mex, not enough Tex. Should we tell her Los Lobos is from East LA?

Irony is when you're making sure your shirts
are all pressed straight.
Now that's irony.

hey janeane how does it feel to be a gen-xer?

Ask Todd about Peaches!

Tom Scharpling, creator of THE MAJORITY REPORT

pretty much total distruction for the six folks who get hit though, isn't it?

In other words, Irony is like porn. You know it when you see it.

if Ted Kennedy can say with impunity, with no criticism whatsoever, that this country is no different under U.S. management than it was under Saddam, then I'm here to tell you that if there are a bunch of these chemical weapons in stockpiles stored and if they are eventually used, the libs will say, "Good, we deserve it because we had no business encroaching on the sovereignty of this country in the first place." That's where they're headed. You have to understand, they've got themselves set up out there, Brian, so that good news for America is bad news for them and bad news for America is good news for them, which means that when there is good news for America, they're going to have to spin it so that it doesn't hurt them. That's the perverted circumstance or deck of cards they've dealt themselves. So I'm just warning you.

In fact, folks, there's an overriding theme that I'm picking up here, and I want to stress this again because I have detected this in some of you people with our ongoing battle with "The Media." Many of you will not consider the domestic battle won until "The Media" agrees with us. It ain't going to happen. By the same token, many of you -- some of you, and you know who you are -- you expect that when this canister or two or maybe more of sarin or mustard gas, VX, whatever is found, you expect that at some point the libs are going to come around and say, "Oops, I guess this is serious," and they're not -- and if you are allowing your happiness to be determined by either "The Media" coming around to agree or the liberals understanding the seriousness of what we're facing, you are going to forever be disappointed. You have to just be positive. You have to be confident that a majority of the American people on this issue are going to recognize fact for what it is and they're going to understand what needs to be done as a result. And you're also going to have to understand this. And this is obviously, too, I mean to me it's a reason for optimism. I know that Bush's approval numbers are down, but that doesn't mean anything in the context of what I'm going to say, because the election is not today. That's why I've said, you've heard me say, "Kerry is a bumbling idiot right now, but it doesn't really matter because the election is not today."

The fact of the matter is that you're all worried that the press and liberals working together are going to persuade the American people that what's true isn't true and what's false is true, and you are worried that the liberal media spin is going to affect the thinking of people like you, that they're going to eventually be able to be talked out of what they know is right. And I just want you to look at where John Kerry is in the polls, the presidential polls versus Bush. Take a look at the onslaught there has been against Bush, especially since the Democrat primaries began -- but it really didn't stop when it started back after Florida 2000. But you have to admit, since January, it has been one of the most amazing, intense attacks on a single sitting president in our lifetimes. You go back and look at all that they've tried, and you ask yourself, "Just how many people's minds are they changing?" And if you want to know, just take a look at the presidential polls, and you'll find John Kerry is only up by one in California right now. Let me tell you something, folks. If John Kerry can't and doesn't win California, nothing else matters. The election is over -- and I'm not saying, "Don't go to the polls," but you get my drift. The number of electoral votes involved all these swing states you're talking about, if he can't even win California where the Republicans are afraid to come out of their holes in the daytime, if he can't win California, folks, it's all academic, it doesn't mean anything; and the fact that Bush is within a point, I mean you've got a statistical tie in California! Unheard of, certainly unexpected.


So the point is, all of these assaults on Bush are not changing people's minds. That is what has the libs so frustrated. That is why they are pulling their hair out. That is why they are going to the most wacko extremes. That is why they're getting kookier and kookier, because they think they're not getting heard. They come out with these attacks on Bush and the public doesn't change its mind. They think, "Damn, what do we have to do? Okay, try this," and then they launch some other kook salvo that comes out of clear air that has no basis in fact and then they start dumping on every conservative institution they can find. It's not succeeding. It's not succeeding, and by not succeeding, I mean by all rights, John Kerry ought to be up 15 points. And he's down, in a presidential poll, he's down; and these swing states, these battleground states, they're by no means in Kerry's camp. A couple of them are, but I mean it's not the slam-dunk that they were all expecting.

I mean, more and more commentators, more and more pundits now saying, "I don't see a close election here." I happen to be among the first of the punditry to say this, and I just base mine on statistical analysis. You just don't have successive elections that are as close as 2000 is. You just don't have them consecutively. I mean, you can make a safe bet on that statistically alone, but then you add all this other data to it, and it's not shaping up as a close election -- and if it's not shaping up as a close election, Bush is not going to get beat in a landslide. [talking to program observer] What are you looking at me that way for? Don't know about what? Yeah, Mr. Snerdley. Yeah, go ahead. Mr. Snerdley is arguing with me here. "I don't know about that, Rush. It could be close. It's a different time we live in." I'll agree it's a different time. I've never seen them do it in a time of war, but I've never seen a party do this in a time of war, no. But I've never also seen this work in a time of war, either. That's my whole point here. It isn't working, and because it isn't working, they're losing their minds. They're going insane right in front of us.

Ted Kennedy, in order to be heard -- you know, they think they're not being heard. They think, "The American people must not be hearing our criticism. We've got to ramp it up." So Kennedy goes out and says, why, the people of Iraq are better off under Saddam. At least they knew what was going to be. We've got these prisons open under the same management, just a different country. Whatever his statement was. You know, in normal circumstances, if you turn this around, if Tom DeLay had said that about, say, Al Gore as president, can you imagine? The front page headlines would still be screaming for DeLay's head, comparing him to a mass murderer like Saddam Hussein, comparing Gore. That's what Kennedy did to Bush. But the libs have been doing this ever since Bush took office. Bush is Hitler, Bush is Saddam, Bush is worse than Saddam. It's not working.

Every time I see the Onion I laugh, but I did love the God one. What is the funniest thought you most recently had while watching the news? Mine was Sunday morning while watching the "palm tree debacle".

Cat

****Todd,
Would the Onion consider providing New York convention floor coverage psa's?

Posted by Ranj the Obscure at May 18, 2004 10:26 PM*****

Can you imagine the Dr. Scholl Ads they could do! LMAO

Todd:
Who's sexier? Laura Bush or Teresa Heinz Kerry?

Ask Todd what the Onion writers read or watch on TV; what sources tend to provide the best material.

Also, how much angry mail do they get? I like the stories about how far off some readers are from getting the satire.

What do you know about Area 51

Posted by reedabook at May 18, 2004 10:26 PM
-----------------------------
Who do you know in Area 51?

Although I appreciate the new, politically aware bent of the Onion, I still harken back to the old days with my two favorites: "Jesus Christ Makes Triumphant Return at Local Keger" and "BEER."

Keep up the great work!!

Todd is inspired by me.

Tom Scharpling, creator of THE MAJORITY REPORT

irony is a song entitled ironic by someone who doesn't know what irony is

Todd Do a pre headline for November 2004!

Reality Bites:

It was Ethan that asked Wynona, right? and she couldnt define irony?

I guess her life was the irony at the point, under and over qualified and in a vicious circle.

That was shamtastic

.....and it annoys the pig.

Posted by opeluboy at May 18, 2004 10:21 PM

WE WISH!

Janeane is NOT a Gen-Exer. lol. didn't you see her on Primtime Glick?

Respect the blog

Hi Todd - when will the Onion pring one of your eeriely accurate horoscopes... for RUMSFELD?

RESPECT THE BLOG!

The lies of the Bush Administration are like the layers of an onion...there are many layers and they all stink and make you cry!

Kerry Denies Having Position -- Any -- At All -- Whatsoever

not crackers

.....and it annoys the pig.

Posted by opeluboy at May 18, 2004 10:21 PM

WE WISH!

Although I appreciate the new, politically aware bent of the Onion, I still harken back to the old days with my two favorites: "Jesus Christ Makes Triumphant Return at Local Keger" and "BEER."

Keep up the great work!!

Are you back in Madison? Did the move to New York have an effect on your comedic style?

Hello from osaka, Japan.
Great show - keep it up.

play the whole clip from Bananas.... "Do you realize there's not one homosexual on that jury?
Judge: Yes there is.
Fielding: Where is he? Point him out to me.

The poison, you suck it out.

What do you think about "The Onion Movie"?

Stop that Janine

Your sound effects suck

The best Onion editorial: Depends Ain't So Damn Dependable

Get Todd to talk about his true radio hero -

ME!

Tom Scharpling, creator of THE MAJORITY REPORT

ask him about the rapture and Bush.

Konichiwa Osaka

Todd do a pre headline for November 2004!

Question for Todd:

Who are the six people in the "What do you think?" photos?

Off topic: one of best Onion articles, in Science section, "Bill Gates Patents Ones and Zeros."

Janeane is NOT a Gen-Exer. lol. didn't you see her on Primtime Glick?

Posted by mpalacio1 at May 18, 2004 10:28 PM
______________________

haha yes i did mpalacio1 i guess i was being ironic......it was just a joke that i was having with myself

Todd-

I'm currently working late in my office- which happens to be across the hall from the Milwaukee offices of the Onion.

None of whom are working right now.

So, those Milwaukee Onion guys. Total slackers, or what? They're probably not even listening to you on the show.

respect the blog..... say CRACKER!!!

Wow. Logrolling in our time.

TWO questions for Todd:

- When are you going to do something on the prison abuse coverup?
- Who is the real Jean Teasdale?

I've known that woman. I've worked with that woman. And I've come this close to strangling that woman.

Will you put a permenant link on the blog to The Onion? That's a question for Sam and Janeane, not Todd.

Hey Todd,

The Onion inspired me to do my own satirical publication -- out of the University of Wisconsin Parkside -- keep up the good work.

Question: Where does The Onion draw the line as far as "appropriateness" of material is concerned?

I have no line, myself. Am I evil?

The lies of the Bush Administration are like an onion, there are many layers and they all stink and make you cry!

The Onion makes me laugh, however.

Poignant or silly?

Soda cracker

Sam and Janeane, you need someone to audit Laura Ingraham's show. It's on against you, and it's quite funny and annoying at the same time.

Are there any new book projects in the works at The Onion? If not, please make one up so I can look forward to something.

JANEANE--

Did you ever patent your jerky re-hydrator?

Possible title:
"the many layers of the Onion"
"Fried Onions"
"What's that smell?"

***So, those Milwaukee Onion guys. Total slackers, or what? They're probably not even listening to you on the show.

Posted by Brian at May 18, 2004 10:30 PM ****

They are here at Vittuci's having a cold one and then we're off to Webb's!

Hey Sam...

here is another radio idea:
AAR is hijacked temporarily by rightwing.
(sort of banana republic, revolutionaries forcing the state radio to read anouncement under gun)

It'll be like Orson wells, except political news. That would make people chuckle so bad on slow news day.

"Bush is Hitler. "

I Would never compare Bush to Hitler. It's really unfair. I mean, Hitler actually wrote his own books, had his own thoughts, worked his way up from nothing...unimportant shit like that. And, yes, this made Hitler far more evil than Bush.

Bush, on the other hand, is more like Ubu Roi.

Is the Onion still run out of Madison, WI?

How does Todd think the world might be different had Janeane accepted the role of Monica instead of Courteney Cox in 'Friends' when it was offered to her?

type define:irony into the Google search box.

Do you think it is ignorant to say that all republicans are hypocrites?

Evening all!

"I happen to be among the first of the punditry to say this, and I just base mine on statistical analysis. You just don't have successive elections that are as close as 2000 is. You just don't have them consecutively. I mean, you can make a safe bet on that statistically alone, but then you add all this other data to it, and it's not shaping up as a close election"

AHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH !!! Thanks, that was a hoot. Can I get some of what you are on?

Laura Ingraham refers to AAR as "ScareAmerica". Oh those cute pet names the right always comes up with. hee hee

Yea! Sam asked Todd my question (sort of) but DAMN!
My six year old was reading me poem (no kidding!) when Todd answered it! Does anyone know what he said his inspirations are when he writes?

What else makes me cry...when you get an error, search to see if the post, well posted and then post again and find the original. :(

""""Posted by thesematchesaredisappointingme at May 18, 2004 10:30 PM""""

LOL. i kinda figured that.

NO! Irony is when the exact opposite of you expect happens. That Alanis Morrisette song, is all wrong

and by the way, you guys are not down with the whole united we stand thing.... crackers

Must

Drink

Starbucks

Now

Janeane IS a Gen-X'er. We're the same age, 1964 was the last year of the baby-boom, it's also considered the first year of the Gen-X'ers.

David the Conservative
Your anecdotal examples suggest that you must be about 12 years old. They say that the human brain has the capacity for what has been termed "plasticity" but it would seem that your brain has completely ossified. A mind is a terrible thing to waste and by your posts you are the perfect example of that adage.

Todd is inspired by me.

Tom Scharpling, creator of THE MAJORITY REPORT
Posted by: Tom Scharpling at May 18, 2004 10:28 PM
""""

Hi todd u ol snort n tanksabunch!!!

I am listening from Brew City. Long time Onion fan.

NO! Irony is when the exact opposite of you expect happens. That Alanis Morrisette song, is all wrong

>> But seriously, you guys on Air America - Why do you keep criticizing our President? Why must you loudly criticize everything he says and does? After all, he is the President. <<

He is NOT MY PRESIDENT, thank you. The Supreme Court appointed him, much to my chagrin; he didn't win the popular vote that's for sure.
And where were you when Clinton was impeached? Huh? Where were you when your party humiliated the President (and our country)? Well my, THEY were the ones exploiting it and DOING it, weren't they?
Dissent is inherently yours as an American, although Bush would rather you didn't know that before he takes it away from you. Get a clue for God's sake.

Maybe you guys haven't heard of the WMD we found in Iraq.

no I think they moved to new york

This is a question for Todd, How can we the thinking feeling people, retake the spectrum of metalanguage back and control it for the good? Do we need money or what else?

Sam -

You know that Todd has only one radio god.

ME.

Tom Scharpling, creator of THE MAJORITY REPORT

Another question: As a free-thinking liberal, I've often been chastised for my constant urge to drink the blood of Christian newborns. Any way to curb this?

U2TOM!!!!!!!

John McCain and Joe Lieberman are not hypocrytical republicans. Ok so Joe isn't a republican but he sure sounds like one sometimes.

Trying to teach a pig to sing is a waste of time and it annoys the pig.
Posted by: opeluboy at May 18, 2004 10:21 PM
=============================================

If you took a notion I bet,
You could teach a hog to smoke a cigarette.
Well it might take a little bit of time,
But, hell,
What's time to a hog?

From "Big River"
Music & Lyrics by Roger Miller

The use of words to express something different from and often opposite to their literal meaning. backhanded compliment, mockery,contempt, satire, taunt, twist,

The entire Bush Administration

Irony

I think David Brooks is a master of irony. How else explain an OpEd like the one in today's Times?

And sorry about the prior rant. I guess I need another whiskey after all. :P

House of Love --= "Shine On!"

I wasn't a WMD it was a wepon that the Germans wouldn't even use.

Lot's of Wisconsin folks streaming tonight. Good to see!

I wasn't a WMD it was a wepon that the Germans wouldn't even use.

Hi Todd why does America need politics.

ask tod to say cracker

"Hypocrisy" as a concept is dead, thanks to conservatives. They don't concede a point simply because it would be "fair" or "right" to do so. Their whole tactic is to win all of their points, and make you fight for every one of yours. What we call "hypocrisy," they just call "winning the argument"

Question:

Todd, what is your opinion of Get Your War On?

Question fo Todd:
My brother and I have come up with a number of jokes over the past couple years we thought were pretty funny, like a politician using a low-carb platform, or a razor company constantly raising the number of blades, or nudists claiming "no shirt , No shoes , No Justice". So when these all appeared in The Onion shortly after we thought of them, we were quite surprised. So tell me, are you scanning our brains as we sleep, or what?

get todd to ask janeane if she is a gen-xer i want to see her reaction

--- QUESTION FOR TODD ---

Ask Todd to tell the world about The Onion's AV Club - One of the most consistently great cultural review sources around. Who's behind it? You and the other regular Onion writers, or some other crew?

Wow, Janeane is the same age as my sister.

todd, what is the worst peice of hate mail you have ever recieved?

Blank sez: 1964 was the last year of the baby-boom, it's also considered the first year of the Gen-X'ers.

***

so is that like an astrological cusp? do you show elements of both signs? who comes up with those dates, anyhow?

""""Lot's of Wisconsin folks streaming tonight. Good to see!
Posted by Bushleague at May 18, 2004 10:34 PM"""""

Minneapolis here! thanks again for saying hello Janeane!

David the Conservative
Your anecdotal examples suggest that you must be about 12 years old. They say that the human brain has the capacity for what has been termed "plasticity" but it would seem that your brain has completely ossified. A mind is a terrible thing to waste and by your posts you are the perfect example of that adage.

Posted by frngy at May 18, 2004 10:32 PM

Please give an example of what I've posted that's
anecdotal.

Why "onion", why not "potatoe" or something else?

How does one from Minnesota subscribe to the onion? Thanks.

Sam -

Todd has only one radio god. ME.

You are false gods.

Tom Scharpling, creator of THE MAJORITY REPORT

get todd to ask janeane if she is a gen-xer i want to see her reaction

and use the term cracker

Andy - hahahahaha

thats funny

Right on...

Bush = Hitler? No. Hitler was elected.

Have you visited the following website to "spank" Bush?

You can take action and vent your frustrations at the same time!

Go to:

http://www.spankbush.com/

Another minneapolis guy here we rule!

>>Maybe you guys haven't heard of the WMD we found in Iraq.<<

You must be besides yourself with joy that some of our guys were almost killed by sarin. Congratulations!

Besides, I wouldn't call ONE unmarked artillery shell justification for killing 10,000 Iraqis and 750 American soldiers and spending 150 billion dollars. Would you? If so, then great job!

"The Onion" is total kicks. The world would be a much less funny place without it. Keep up the good work.

get todd to ask janeane if she is a gen-xer i want to see her reaction

and use the term cracker

Posted by terry wilke at May 18, 2004 10:36 PM
_____

haha yeah do this

Beaver Beat Up By Black Children -- June Pissed

Why "onion", why not "potatoe" or something else?

Posted by at May 18, 2004 10:36 PM

layers and layers, I assume

Harry Potter Spreads Witchcraft to Kids! Woo HOo!

i dEmAnD yOu hOnOr OuR mIlwAuKEE lISteNerSHIP
bY aDdiNg an aFfiLiatE iN MKE!!!

j/k

please though.
hint, hint...

Why are conservatives such horrible horrible jackasses?

>>Maybe you guys haven't heard of the WMD we found in Iraq.

Check out the last thread. We've discussed that already. One warhead (in the hands of rather stupid terrorists, I might add) does not a "imminent threat" make. Quite trying to sell fear here, cuz it won't work.

Terry:
What's with the Cracker fixation? Did I miss a joke or something?

Ask Todd what some of the worst hate mail he has ever recieved was like

Ask Todd Hanson about Alexandra Kerry.

Hachee mama!

Tom Scharpling, creator of THE MAJORITY REPORT

Washington state rules. everyone knows that.

How does one from Minnesota subscribe to the onion? Thanks.

Posted by rutter at May 18, 2004 10:36 PM

Go to the www.theonion.com

www.theonion.com <------On the web, I'm sure you can subscribe from there.

LOL!!!!! That is too funny!

Stupid like a vole!

Onion-
you have an old new fan.

sorry i've been so...

George Bush is a belligerent drunk, that is intellectually challenged.

Hiya Liza. Janeane calls somebody a cracker -- almost every night.

Some of us (without lives of our own) live for it!!!

p :)

how about convincing our poor citizens with republican representatives to recall them now

Another great site, most of you probably familiar with, but if not: http://www.whitehouse.org/

Fun with the feeble minded!

Local Woman finds time to inspect lawn

With a torn and ragged blade of grass in one fist, local homeowner Ethel Harm shook her other fist at the departing landscaping crew. She shouted. "Sharpen your blades or your fired!".
"And look over here." she continued. "The neighbors dog is up to his old tricks!" "And you lawn guys have to run over it and spread doo from here to Main St."

""""Another minneapolis guy here we rule!
Posted by Jay Dubs at May 18, 2004 10:37 PM""""

YEP! I got Janeane to say hello to us last week too!

SO, you're telling me I /shouldn't/ have joined the Church of Satan?

harry potter has gay sex with the lion king

Ask Todd about Bush and that Goat. What gives?

united we stand people!!!!!

let's all get behind this cracker thing

Oedipus Rex
Now that's irony.

The Lion King is not gay!

I spent so much on the inlaid pentagram in the foyer! Damn!

-yep still on broadway good friend of mine saw one of his shows in the not to distant past

Yard sale winds down after a week

As Monday wore on, Isabel Smith noted to the last customer, "You'll be very happy with that paper towel holder. Why it was our first ever!". The yard sale was finally over. She didn't know what to expect last Saturday as browsers stopped in to view the latest in sidewalk merchandise. Isabel had hosted only one yard sale before this, and everything sold in one day. She exclaimed, "It must be the economy, stupid!" as she brushed past the few remaining treasures on the makeshift table.

Isabel only wanted to work the sale till Sunday. The problem was people would stop and knock on her door and ask about some item and was it still available.

"What do I look like, eBay!", she cried.

This went on the whole week. She never knew she had so much crap in that house of hers. She started wondering if people were paying for things and not taking them.

"Well", she said, "This is surely the last time I do something as ridiculous as this for extra money!".

come one mpalacio lets get janeane to give some props to minneapolis even though I probably just mispelled her name

Nate sez: The Lion King is not gay!

***

maybe he was a detainee

George W. Bush = "The Lyin' King"

Todd-- confess: did you write either of my all-time favorite Onion headlines:

"Jenna Bush's wetlands open for public drilling"

"Beer cans and fried chicken carcasses bob in the froth of John Goodman's hot tub"

?

Huge Ackman - what a cool name.

I believed the first Onion story I ever read.

It was about how more people speak Klingon than Cherokee.

Of course, that one is a lot easier to believe.

This blog is...

>>Maybe you guys haven't heard of the WMD we found in Iraq.

Check out the last thread. We've discussed that already. One warhead (in the hands of rather stupid terrorists, I might add) does not a "imminent threat" make. Quite trying to sell fear here, cuz it won't work.

Posted by at May 18, 2004 10:38 PM

This is mute point because you guys were against the war even if there were stock piles of WMD's.

harry potter has gay sex with the lion king

Nice.

Heads up Jeaneane! I'll send you the fuller of version of invite via your contact page. Hope you can do it!

Inivtation to Speak at 25th Annual Teaching Conference &
Interfaith Service Topic – Media and Peace, with  Noam Chomsky & others Coalition for Peace Action, Princeton, NJ -  peacecoalition.org
November 14th, 2004, Princeton University

Dear Randi and Jeaneane:

I am a huge fan of both of your shows and I'm hoping that
either or both of you could help round out our speaker lineup
for  the  25th annual teaching conference of the Coalition for
Peace Action.  The topic will focus, this year, on the impact of
media on peacemaking.   Noam Chomsky is the  keynote
speaker. 

 I think that either or both of you would provide the
'alternative to the alternative' because you  both explore
important ideas, like Chomsky's, in entertaining ways that 
engage listeners who might never hear them.   All of you at
Air America are lighting up America's Airwaves and
contributing to a more peaceful culture.

THE LION KING IS NOT GAY!!!

Actually, Van Helsing was a fun popcorn chewer.

>>SO, you're telling me I /shouldn't/ have joined the Church of Satan?
Posted by Vioxel (vee-OAK-sel) at May 18, 2004 10:40 PM>>

It's really gone downhill since Anton LaVey died.

David the Conservative wrote:
>Maybe you guys haven't heard of the WMD we found in Iraq.<

Did they find them in the asses of the Iraqi prisoners? I know they've spent a lot of time looking there with lumi-lights .

The word your looking for is "frumious".

every show JG gives a shout out, today we would just like her to call someone a cracker instead

Actually, Harry Potter was infact written by Anton La Vey and funded by the president of Proctor and Gamble to further the Church of Satan.

-Jay Dub-

you spelt her name right. i'm not sure if she'll do it again. she seemed somewhat hestitant last time.

one of who was on buffy? who
who who ?

Question for todd

Howard Stern recently told his 8 million listeners that he "loved" the onion. What do you think of Howard.

HOW DO WE SUBMIT STORIES TO THE ONION?

Thanks for info! I live in Los Angeles and can only listen to the show on the internet (when my little boy isn't on it!)

SO, you're telling me I /shouldn't/ have joined the Church of Satan?

Posted by Vioxel (vee-OAK-sel) at May 18, 2004 10:40 PM

Drink some tap water Vioxel, spit up
a little pea soup you'll be fine.

MINNEAPOLIS

Technically, sarin is NOT a WMD. Just thought I'd mention that.

the lion king is asexual

Actually, Harry Potter was infact written by Anton La Vey and funded by the president of Proctor and Gamble to further the Church of Satan.

Posted by Tim also from Ohio at May 18, 2004 10:43 PM
-----------

No, it was Stanton Dowd, under mandate from Weishaupt himself!

Who will help the widow's son?

Ann Coulter = Zena LaVey

okay, then just say QUACKER- we'll know

The air american webite said I should get programming at 1330 AM when I tuned in I got something else...what gives?

Bush approval rating 42

but that's split between 41 guys in suits and 1 guy in a trailer park named Bob

Sarin is one of those chemical weapons that only work when two ingrediants mix and there are no doctors within 100 miles.

1330 AM in minneapolis that is

wow, as if we didn't respect him enough, he goes and turns down money to do what he loves and make the funny? are you sure this guy isn't running for office?

"Ann Coulter = Zena LaVey"

ooh I'm goody and I approve this message i like that

Todd why wasnt the Onion ever SUED for the DRUNK OF THE WEEK column? I used to go to UW Madison and I remember that.

This is mute point because you guys were against the war even if there were stock piles of WMD's.

Posted by David The Conservative at May 18, 2004 10:42 PM
------------------
So you're saying that since we found a shell with sarin from Gulf War I that this is all the reason we need to go to war?

Gee, Rumsfeld set this whole thing up in 1984!!!

ONION is a WEB Institution...!

Actually, Harry Potter was infact written by Anton La Vey and funded by the president of Proctor and Gamble to further the Church of Satan.

This sounds like a great screenplay. I'm going to write this and submit it as the next episode of the twilight zone.

Peaches for free!

I've had sex with Coulter... she has a small penis.

USA starts sanctions on Vatican City

Has Todd ever visited Scarborough Country?

Beaver Beat Up By Black Children -- June Pissed

Posted by: Fishgrease at May 18, 2004 10:38 PM //

Eddie Haskell Forms White Citizen's Council in Response

Konichiwa
Bill san
Osaka a flower
in my memory
wooden smiling fish
'Nippon'

PeachesPeacePeaches PeachesPeacePeaches PeachesPeacePeaches PeachesPeacePeaches PeachesPeacePeaches PeachesPeacePeaches PeachesPeacePeaches PeachesPeacePeaches PeachesPeacePeaches PeachesPeacePeaches PeachesPeacePeaches PeachesPeacePeaches PeachesPeacePeaches PeachesPeacePeaches

I've seen the Onion.

It's really neat, it's all funny stories and "believe it or not" type stories.

It's funny but weird, so be warned!!!

Sometimes it's dumb but you learn alot about stuff too.

"Bush" moment.

Why wasnt Wet Hot American Summer as big of a hit as Van Helsing

DtheC sez: This is mute point because you guys were against the war even if there were stock piles of WMD's.

***

if wmds in the hands of an aggressive oligarchy are your rationale for preemptive invasion... invade the USA!

'cept y'all actually got wmds... some of which you sold to saddam. that receipt's around here someplace...

the president of the united states of america was mid 90's like 95

I missed most of the show because I was teaching. Has anyone mentioned the Onion headline when Bush was inaugurated? Something like "Our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over!"

is janeane being aloof about 1990s rock-pop?

Strangers With Candy Rules!

Is Todd married? He has a great sense of humor!

Fabulous show.

You should be sorry, Janeane. How dare you have even a moment of human fallability?

DRUNK OF THE WEEK! Gawd, I forgot that one. I'm dying of laughter.

bush's approval rating is the answer to the
universe.

42

See? I told you this man was profound.

We still love you Janeane.

WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER is much better than VAN HELSING

----JANEANE----

say hello to MINNEAPOLIS again!

for gods sake we are running out of time people

Alpha Librulz!!!!!!!! Alpha Librulz!!!!!!!! Alpha Librulz!!!!!!!! Alpha Librulz!!!!!!!! Alpha Librulz!!!!!!!! Alpha Librulz!!!!!!!! Alpha Librulz!!!!!!!! Alpha Librulz!!!!!!!! Alpha Librulz!!!!!!!! Alpha Librulz!!!!!!!! Alpha Librulz!!!!!!!! Alpha Librulz!!!!!!!! Alpha Librulz!!!!!!!! Alpha Librulz!!!!!!!! Alpha Librulz!!!!!!!! Alpha Librulz!!!!!!!! Alpha Librulz!!!!!!!! Alpha Librulz!!!!!!!! Alpha Librulz!!!!!!!! Alpha Librulz!!!!!!!! Alpha Librulz!!!!!!!! Alpha Librulz!!!!!!!! Alpha Librulz!!!!!!!!

LOL.

This interview is classic!

It's come up, Renee. Howdy!

it wasn't as successful as van helsing because wet hot american summer was actually clever and funny

I love Peter Allen, but "Boy from Oz" was the biggest yawn I ever plopped down a hundred bucks for!

Can't fucking believe it got 5 tony noms.

Jackman will win best actor and Isabel Keating stands a chance for Featured Actress, but it doesn't have a prayer for Best Musical (Wicked) or Best Book (Kushner: Caroline, or Change).

Buffy is why I tell ppl. who don't watch tv they're not missing anything.

Where can I get an autographed copy of Wet Hot American Summer

Amy Sedaris would be a fantastic guest.

Todd is the man of the hour, watchingirls takin a shower!

Lines of Oxy joke, followed by a sniffing sound. Perfect.

Sam and Jenean are getting a lot better, the first week was brutal.

Great great show!!

A snatch of Sneaker Pimps there. Six Underground.

>> This is mute point because you guys were against the war even if there were stock piles of WMD's. <<

That would be "moot", not mute .... first, and second of all, don't lump me in to a "group" that's always anti-war, no matter what. Unfair.

What has since unfolded is simple: I believed our pres. was telling the truth. Turns out he wasn't. I can bitch about him lying to me all I want to... HE LIED TO ME. (And I'd rather be lied to about a blowjob then innocent people dying daily, thanks)

And you should be pissed off about that too, my conservative adversary. You should be too!

Why do you hate Weeds!

Hey, I just wanted Radiohead to get their due, your opening music is a cut from Everything in It's Right Place from Radiohead's Kid A album

I will watch Wet Hot American Summer again if janeane meantions minneapolis

The Onion makes me proud to be a Cheesehead! Eating a hunk of guda and drinking a Pabst right now, singing On-Wisconsin.

George W. Bush's approval ratings are coming dangerously close to his IQ

Todd is in fact the man, but.... he is not a cracker

Amy Sedaris would be a fantastic guest.

Posted by JF at May 18, 2004 10:48 PM
______

ugh yes plese have her on already

I remember when Onion was among the first web site truely worth reading along with zdnet (crapola now) and slashdot. *sniff*

the good old day.

Laura - right band, wrong tune.

It's The National Anthem

If Kerry is elected president, he will have a golden opportunity to bring us back to an era of social progress. The United States of America is pluralistic society and the sooner we accept that, and each other, the better...for us and the world.

I hope he will have the guts to do that. Because if he can pull that off, he will be a graet president.

Scott Easterly
Little Rock, AR

>>And you should be pissed off about that too, my conservative adversary. You should be too!<<

Yes, and...
The fact that you are not Dave, leads me to question your ability to think independently.

Hey Yellow Right Wing Uninformed Coward posting long BS rants, PICK A NICK or you will be Ignored for being ignorant.

i'd like Margret Cho to be a guest. (if she hasn't already been on)

George W. Bush's approval ratings are coming dangerously close to his IQ

this deserves another post

can somebody tell me when gore vidal is expected to be on? or was that just a vicious rumour?

Funny Lines In Mystery Men In Portugese

I fucking Jellin Like a felon who is smellin and sellin!

*****Proposal for Onion story:**********

Combination Ballot/Enlistment Form Will Be Used for November Election

WASHINGTON - In an effort to reduce federal paperwork, Congress has approved a dual ballot/enlistment form for next November's presidential election. Those who vote for George W. Bush will be asked to supply their names and addresses for immediate processing by the Selective Service.

"We figure," said a Congressional aide, "if you're willing to vote for Bush by this point, you must be willing to go to Iraq." The ballot form will ask voters over the age of 55 to supply the names of their children.

>>Sam and Jenean are getting a lot better, the first week was brutal.

tell me about it. our two fav radio talking heads are all grown up pro now. They haven't even botch an interview for 2 days straight.

Your show is great. Please tell everyone to read the article in the June issue of Harpers Magazine - titled " Ignoble Liars " This is, I believe, a really important piece because it clearly shows how seriously deluded the Bush administration is and it explains how and why. Lots of pieces will fall into place. Please please spread the word about this - when you read this article you will understand what I mean. Thank you for being there. It's a comfort.

Scott Easterly
Little Rock, AR

I hope you're right. Our country is depending on it.

YO LA TENGO is the SHIT!

cracker???

Thank you for great show, Sam and Janeane!

But Todd never told us if Jeneane is as sexy in real life as she is on TV/RADIO!!

Yes, Margaret Cho before Amy Sedaris. There's a certain order to these things.

HOW can anybody NOT read the onion?
That's like not like knowing who monty python is.

I used to work at a small AM station in Griffin, GA, where our morning DJ would read the headlines from the Onion each week (just the headlines and from the website). He finally decided to quit because we would get so many calls from confused listeners who thought the stories were real. He just got tired of explaining that it was a joke.

Aries: (March 21—April 19)
Interior decorators claim that only about 18 inches of space is needed for people to pass between furnishings, but that was before they got a load of you.

ATHF! Yay! I love Meatwad. He's so cute.

"Fry? Do I gots parents?"
"HELL no!"

ok - A Sam rant is in the offing...........

Does anyone live in Abq and want to hang out.; I'm so alone.. so very alone..

pssst wanda they're all not elitists like you an I....Buhahahahahahaha

Jackman will win best actor . . .
Posted by: petemoon at May 18, 2004 10:48 PM
============================================

Though, Hunter Foster deserves it!!!

But, what do I care? I'm boycotting the tony's this year because they didn't nominate Kerry Butler.

AGAIN!!!!!

atta way to get behind the whole united we stand thing guys

Why, oh why does Air America play such evil, capitalistic commercials!!!

They should only be supporting products made by responsible, Made-In-America, union supporting companies sold by people who go door-to-door...

Maybe sell the wares of a nice couple in Oregon who make shoes made of tree bark.

didn't bush go out of his way to exempt himself and troops from war crimes charges?

Memos Reveal War Crimes Warnings
Could Bush administration officials be prosecuted for 'war crimes' as a result of new measures used in the war on terror? The White House's top lawyer thought so
Suspected Taliban and al Qaeda detainees at Guantanamo Bay Naval Base kneel down before military police as prisoners are processed into the detention facility in January 2002

http://msnbc.msn.com/id/4999734/

BTW - Rumsfeld is a Princeton Univ. Grad. A campus peace group discussed issuing him a dishorary degree last year - but they all lost their nerve. Speaking of honorary and dishonorary degrees - Bob Dylan got his honorary in 1970s. It was a year of when the 17 year Cicadas popped out - they were so noisy during commencement - he was inspired to write Day of the Locust.

Keep your eye's peeled for these fasinating creatures popping up under a tree near you any day now :)

peeling an onion
god sheds a tear, winks at me
and keeps on laffin!

pleassssse forgive me, Sam.
i'll read the onion, i promise.
i'm old and clueless...but look how much i'm learning from ya'll!

Im goody...,
Yeah, thanks, I just caught my mistake

The Geneva Convention! Whoa, dude, isn't that, like the last Yes album?

Sarin is not WMD!

The WMD in Iraq. They found an old, unmarked shell wired to an explosive device on the side of the road, near where a US convoy was passing.
They went to dismantle it and it sort of went off. No one hurt, but a couple of guys got woozy, and displayed symptoms of exposure to a nerve agent as they transported it to a lab. Field tests showed it to be Sarin gas.
The military said it's probably an old shell from before Iraq 1. And they even said the guys who wired it may not have even known it was a nerve agent shell.
Rumsfeld said we can't be too hasty to report it is Sarin till they do further testing.

The NY Post today had it on the cover as "WMD- Nerve-gas blast in Baghdad", then inside, got the story wrong. Saying that it went off near a convoy releasing a small abount of sarin gas. It wasn't till the 3rd paragraph till they said it "Soldiers had spotted the bomb, but it detonated before they could defuse it.

On the same page was a big headline "Bomp Kills Head Of Ruling Council". If you look at the page, it looks like it's the same bomb in both stories.

fine!!! i'll take a cracker comment from sam then

I don't care what their lawyers said. George W. Bush and his administration have broken laws. And need to be held accountable.

Bush loves execution so much that if he got the death panalty he'd ask to pull the switch on himself.

I miss Spy Magazine.

Yeah, we're great at kicking the asses of poor, third world countries.

question about that pulitzer article, does anyone know where i can read that one?
(the first onion article after 9/11)

everybody post the word cracker .........now!!!

i miss when the u.s. overthrew governments and tortured people and no one cared or noticed. i mean, no!

Boykin to Troops -- "hey, dudes, get em nude and stack em high!"

Nice job Sam... great job Janeane.

I love my typos.

Doesn't Sarin have a certain shelf-life. 10 years old...probably the guys who "found" it got sand in their eyes. I'm no chemist but the long-term efficacy of a gas?

Seriously if you live in ABQ. come hang out with me, I haven't heard a human voice (besides on the radio) for two days.. I need human contact.

That's the IDF training showing.

cracker

You know who we need to investigate the Bush administration. Elliot Spitzer District Attorney of New York

Yo La Tengo forever.

Are Canned Farts WMDs -- there is a magic shop here then I want Bush to invade!

what can we do about it?

now i just feel sick

War crimes it is, Sam.

This guy is great!
Go Sam!

oh man elimidate makes me feel nautious there is something about it

"The roots of the Abu Ghraib prison scandal lie not in the criminal inclinations of a few Army reservists but in a decision, approved last year by Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, to expand a highly secret operation, which had been focussed on the hunt for Al Qaeda, to the interrogation of prisoners in Iraq."

www.newyorker.com/fact/content/?040524fa_fact

Cracker packer whacker snacker cracker Cracker packer whacker snacker cracker Cracker packer whacker snacker cracker Cracker packer whacker snacker cracker Cracker packer whacker snacker cracker Cracker packer whacker snacker cracker Cracker packer whacker snacker cracker Cracker packer whacker snacker cracker Cracker packer whacker snacker cracker Cracker packer whacker snacker cracker Cracker packer whacker snacker cracker

Rumsfeld says it wasn't necessarily sarin

http://www.wtkr.com/Global/story.asp?S=1873574&nav=0oa8AfMQ

Pre-fuckup-damage-control

JG don't drink Soda!
Coke Kills

To the greatest country, Strongbadia...

"Doesn't Sarin have a certain shelf-life. 10 years old...probably the guys who "found" it got sand in their eyes. I'm no chemist but the long-term efficacy of a gas?"

Sarin itself quickly breaks down...the two part formula breaks down more slowly...after 10 years...?

Of course the same thing happens in Palestine every day, Sam. That's our tax dollars there, too, and war crimes as bad or worse. What are we doing about that?

they are not lunkheads they are crackers!!!

thanks ilove

i am so obedient .

that was a good show
see ya tomorrow

Elimidate - sounds like a fruit-based laxative.

Peace out, y'all.

Tomorrow!

p :)

Thanks Sam. I feel sick now, but as always, more informed than I was 3 hours ago. Great show S&J. Have a nice night.

Great show again as usual.

Thank you for all the treats.

Me love U long time.

excellent show JG.

Does anyone live in Abq and want to hang out.; I'm so alone.. so very alone..

Posted by Nate at May 18, 2004 10:54 PM
--------------

I know some *very* liberal folks up there. Find out about polys. I know one of the leaders of the local group. I don't want to out anyone, so no names.

Even if their lifestyle isn't yours, they're generally good friends.

Oh, and thanks for the fish...

The shell was of the type that had two chambers with two seperate components. When it goes off, the components mix to create the Sarin. The experts say it actually has a longer shelf life than you might think.

Great show..and on a totally unrelated note does anyone know the age of Raul Castro? just curious.

-Bolshevik

Forget impeaching Bush, it's just not going to happen.

The Bush administration cannot be dealt with until after the next election. Then there needs to be a criminal investigation.

Bye Pete

two people got my back??? two?

Good Night, Everyone. And may God Bless.

Kerry, and we all, need to ignore Nader.

happy 140th birthday, Fidel!!

He's immortal in my mind

Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead

two people got my back??? two?

Posted by terry wilke at May 18, 2004 11:01 PM
----------

Eh? I'm probably on your side. What happened?

Can we impeach Buch if he's already im-pear-ed?

I slay me...

oh my god yea, thank you guys great show

patriot,

the most chilling thought i ever had came the other day:

if people like cheney continue to privatize the military (and the prisons and the interrogators etc) then it won't matter who is elected anymore

going to vomit now...

cracker

Ah. I prefer Saltines, sometimes Wheat Thins.

Whats god got to do with it?

Can we impeach Buch if he's already im-pear-ed?

I slay me...

Only if Laura puts on his yellow helmet. And sends them off on the special bus.

For anyone interested in the School of
the Americas

http://www.soaw.org/new/

It is frightening.

Zweiback

'cause it sounds funny

Melba Toast

does anyone know how i can find/read the aforementioned onion article written immediatly following 9/11 and considered for a pulitzer?

two people got my back??? two?
Posted by: terry wilke at May 18, 2004 11:01 PM
==============================================

I'd offer to get your back, but Liberal-At-Large would have a hemorrhage!!!

Okay, g'night for real this time. :)

If we can grab people like Milosevic from other countries, hold them up to the standards of the geneva convention, and prosecute them for war crimes, then we can prosecute the civilian contractors that may have also committed war crimes in Iraqi prisons.

I'm sorry to hear that JG feels that "lunk heads" saying that this is the greatest country in the world is a bad thing.

Just because the country is in trouble, I would much rather live here than any other country in the world!

Is she putting down these people because she feels intellectually above them? Is she insulted by their behavior so she has to put them down?

The more I listen to her, the more snobbish she sounds.

Chicken in a Biskit

As always...Great Show.

And you wonder why I call you POINTMAN! You slay me petemoon.

Why did this take so long for all of you to figure this out!!! TURN OFF YOUR TV!!!

ok while i got you all here this is the deal JG gives the shout out to someone each nite right?

this is not my idea but i've taken up the cause , What we whant is recognition of the blogers as a whole, get JG to call somebody a cracker

Looks like post-show is Hour 3 renamed.

Hey anyone heard about Bush going on South Park. He's going to replace the character Timmy.

The Pope and I have a birthday wish for You to grant..............
Your My Heroes

PLEASE start focusing on 9/11

Too many mindblowing unanswered questions that would get these criminals out of here.

The 9/11 Commission's Eleventh Public Hearing
Topic: Emergency Response

Tuesday, May 18 & Wednesday, May 19
8:45 AM

New School University
John L. Tishman Auditorium
66 West 12th Street
New York City

~*~

Homework:

Has anyone been to any 911 websites at all?

Below is the 911 family steering committee website.
http://911independentcommission.org/

These heroic people are the ones who never stopped pushing for an investigation.

PLEASE carefully read all their unanswered questions.

Research these also:

http://www.ny911truth.org
http://physics911.org/
http://www.september11news.com/

Below are a couple of the questions they want former mayor to answer tomorrow........

1. A few short weeks after 9/11, tons of metal from the collapsed twin towers was sold to scrap yards in New Jersey. Thereafter, the steel was re-sold to other recyclers in the United States and overseas. Anecdotal evidence suggests that the “scrap” has ended up in India, Japan, South Korea, China and Malaysia.

It is the FSC’s position that the thousands of pounds of debris was crime-scene evidence. It should have been examined, catalogued, and stored in a secure location.Why were the steel beams sold and shipped overseas and not retained as evidence? Was the material examined before it was sent overseas? If examined, then by whom? Were any diagnostic studies/tests performed? If not, then why? Whose responsibility was this?

Former FBI Acting Director Thomas Pickard said that the FBI wanted to take over Ground Zero and make it a crime scene as was done at the Pentagon. If that had occurred all materials from the scene would have been protected until an investigation was complete. Pickard also stated that you, Mayor Giuliani, would not allow the FBI access to the pit area. Is this accurate? If so, then what was your reason for keeping the nation’s chief investigatory team­the FBI, out of Ground Zero?

10. Why did you ask to have your records as Mayor of New York City sealed for 25 years?

12. Mr. Giuliani, several members of the Family Steering Committee attended a meeting with you in 2002 at which time you told us that you were against, and would not support, the formation of an independent commission to examine the events of 9/11.

Why did you oppose the creation of this commission? Given the revelations that have emerged during commission hearings, do you still regard their work as unimportant and unnecessary? Do you now believe it is beneficial to have the public well informed about the actions of the government, its agencies and its public officials?

Happy Birthday to me
HeHe........

nite pete

Hey anyone heard about Bush going on South Park. He's going to replace the character Timmy.

Posted by Patriot at May 18, 2004 11:07 PM
---------
Timmy has way too much personality. Bush couldn't live up to it.

(singing)

Happiest of birthdays dear lakermom,
Happiest of birthdays to you

(think Bill Murray)

;)

if people like cheney continue to privatize the military (and the prisons and the interrogators etc) then it won't matter who is elected anymore

I live on the Border and the blur between
the local police and the Homeland
police and FBI is really starting to run
together. The government gives the
local police money for cameras vest etc.
in turn for doing things
their way or The Patriot Act way.

ok while i got you all here this is the deal JG gives the shout out to someone each nite right?

this is not my idea but i've taken up the cause , What we want is recognition of the blogers as a whole, this can be done on the sly see??? get JG to call somebody a cracker.

love u
Lmom
Happiest
B DAY!!!!! B DAY!!!!! B DAY!!!!! B DAY!!!!! B DAY!!!!! B DAY!!!!! B DAY!!!!! B DAY!!!!! B DAY!!!!! B DAY!!!!! B DAY!!!!! B DAY!!!!! B DAY!!!!! B DAY!!!!! B DAY!!!!! B DAY!!!!!

>>Doesn't Sarin have a certain shelf-life. 10 years old...probably the guys who "found" it got sand in their eyes. I'm no chemist but the long-term efficacy of a gas?

Posted by Bushleague at May 18, 2004 10:57 PM <<

If it is stored in cool temperature and pure form, it will last indefinitely. sarin is a stable poweder. But considering what we found is the binaries precursors in an artillery shell. It probably degrade a good deal.

Any other burners here?

Rush snorts Sarin. Pass it on...

You people missed Fantasia Barrino's heart-wrenching performance of "The Greatest Love Of All" on American Idol for this? Uncultured cretins!

Lakermom, happy birthday to You
hope your day is happy

What is American Idol? Is it just Starsearch revisited?

Can't hang around tonight, (not that any cares I am sure but...) hope this is not old news:

'Definitely a Cover-Up'
By Brian Ross and Alexandra Salomon
ABCNEWS.com

Tuesday 18 May 2004

Former Abu Ghraib Intel Staffer Says Army Concealed Involvement in Abuse Scandal
Dozens of soldiers - other than the seven military police reservists who have been charged - were involved in the abuse at Iraq's Abu Ghraib prison, and there is an effort under way in the Army to hide it, a key witness in the investigation told ABCNEWS.

"There's definitely a cover-up," the witness, Sgt. Samuel Provance, said. "People are either telling themselves or being told to be quiet."

Provance, 30, was part of the 302nd Military Intelligence Battalion stationed at Abu Ghraib last September. He spoke to ABCNEWS despite orders from his commanders not to.

"What I was surprised at was the silence," said Provance. "The collective silence by so many people that had to be involved, that had to have seen something or heard something."

Provance, now stationed in Germany, ran the top secret computer network used by military intelligence at the prison.

He said that while he did not see the actual abuse take place, the interrogators with whom he worked freely admitted they directed the MPs' rough treatment of prisoners.

"Anything [the MPs] were to do legally or otherwise, they were to take those commands from the interrogators," he said.

Top military officials have claimed the abuse seen in the photos at Abu Ghraib was limited to a few MPs, but Provance says the sexual humiliation of prisoners began as a technique ordered by the interrogators from military intelligence.

"One interrogator told me about how commonly the detainees were stripped naked, and in some occasions, wearing women's underwear," Provance said. "If it's your job to strip people naked, yell at them, scream at them, humiliate them, it's not going to be too hard to move from that to another level."

According to Provance, some of the physical abuse that took place at Abu Ghraib included U.S. soldiers "striking [prisoners] on the neck area somewhere and the person being knocked out. Then [the soldier] would go to the next detainee, who would be very fearful and voicing their fear, and the MP would calm him down and say, 'We're not going to do that. It's OK. Everything's fine,' and then do the exact same thing to him." Provance also described an incident when two drunken interrogators took a female Iraqi prisoner from her cell in the middle of the night and stripped her naked to the waist. The men were later restrained by another MP.

Pentagon Sanctions Investigation
Maj. Gen. George Fay, the Army's deputy chief of staff for intelligence, was assigned by the Pentagon to investigate the role of military intelligence in the abuse at the Iraq prison.

Fay started his probe on April 23, but Provance said when Fay interviewed him, the general seemed interested only in the military police, not the interrogators, and seemed to discourage him from testifying.

Provance said Fay threatened to take action against him for failing to report what he saw sooner, and the sergeant fears he will be ostracized for speaking out.

"I feel like I'm being punished for being honest," Provance told ABCNEWS. "You know, it was almost as if I actually felt if all my statements were shredded and I said, like most everybody else, 'I didn't hear anything, I didn't see anything. I don't know what you're talking about,' then my life would be just fine right now."

In response, Army officials said it is "routine procedure to advise military personnel under investigative review" not to comment.

The officials said, however, that Fay and the military were committed to an honest, in-depth investigation of what happened at the prison.

But Provance believes many involved may not be as forthcoming with information.

"I would say many people are probably hiding and wishing to God that this storm passes without them having to be investigated [or] personally looked at."

No, out here in the west AI hasn't come on yet.

I'll be missing it at THAT time.

lakermom-
i was just about to see if you were still partying it up. hope you've had a great birthday.

as far as focusing on 9/11 commission-i was very into that and watched almost all of the previous hearings. i just feel like nothing is really going to happen. i don't see this committee coming out with even what they know to be the truth. i just don't think they will. and now i'm very sad about the whole thing.

Looks like post-show is Hour 3 renamed.
Posted by: Vioxel (vee-OAK-sel) at May 18, 2004 11:07 PM""

dey figger it out e vent u allalallaaaleee

Dey messin with timken bearing

union shop Grrrrreat Bearings!!!!!

Night all!

ruff nite with the gilmore girls on and all

you guys should give them a try, they hate conservatives enough to put there whole career on the line, did you see bad santa???

Now Superstar USA - THAT's a show!

Nite Rico

Sarin in functional form isn't a powder...

bah why do I bother

burners???

Night Rico

Posted by: Bryan at May 18, 2004 11:13 PM""

good article Tanka u abunch!!!

Triple shot time!!!

burners???

Posted by terry wilke at May 18, 2004 11:15 PM
--------------

Burning Man, Burning Flipside, other regional burn events. Neo-hippies, with a little bit of Raver stirred in.

Happy birthday Lakermom!
*ting -- the sound of a toast of two magaritas*

Yeah I know, I'm looking forward to Superstar USA too. The only reality show I've ever wanted to watch (ok, i did watch Anna Nicole the first season. Couldn't miss that train-wreck)

love u
Lmom
Happiest
B DAY!!!!! B DAY!!!!! B DAY!!!!! B DAY!!!!! B DAY!!!!! B DAY!!!!! B DAY!!!!! B DAY!!!!! B DAY!!!!! B DAY!!!!! B DAY!!!!! B DAY!!!!! B DAY!!!!! B DAY!!!!! B DAY!!!!! B DAY!!!!!

Posted by Shadow Webmaster at May 18, 2004 11:11 PM

Thanks Sunshine and everyone!!!!!!!!!!

Had a great one.........

Got to get to work.

Peace Out

Burning Man, Burning Flipside, other regional burn events. Neo-hippies, with a little bit of Raver stirred in.

like dead heads??

bah why do I bother??

for the sheer pleasure!

Yak at ol poot eh?

What exactly would we gain by looking at the tons of WTC debris? This wouldn't be thousands of pounds (my car weighs more than 2000 lbs), but more like hundreds of millions of pounds of debris. Is there really a secure location available to store all of that, and how many people would it take to examine it?

With all the eye witnesses we had, do we really need further investigation to prove that the buildings were hit by planes? What exactly do these people suspect?

Burning Man, Burning Flipside, other regional burn events. Neo-hippies, with a little bit of Raver stirred in.

like dead heads??

Posted by terry wilke at May 18, 2004 11:19 PM
--------------

Kinda. Less drug-focus, more art, personal creation, community involvement focus.

Can't sarin be mixed with anthrax to
make a powder. And one of the most deadly
poisons

And so it spins...

Here's an excerpt from a current USA Today story (via Yahoo News). Notice the wording on the sarin bit:

"While recent images of beheaded hostage Nick Berg, abused Iraqi prisoners, sarin nerve gas attacks and burned corpses of Americans dangling from bridges have been disturbing, so far advertisers haven't pulled back."

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=677&ncid=677&e=6&u=/usatoday/20040518/bs_usatoday/violenceiniraqputsadvertisersonedge

Sarin in functional form isn't a powder...

bah why do I bother

Posted by Nobody at May 18, 2004 11:15 PM

It's amazin', huh? Me, too!

Viva la communist lies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

--

**Fidel Castro can live to 140, doctor says**

Fidel Castro's doctor denied rumours that the president's health was ailing, saying today the 77-year-old leader is in excellent health and claiming he can live at least 140 years.

Dr Eugenio Selman Housein said Mr Castro continues to run and swim and pointed to the president's participation in a massive protest march on Friday.

Castro led the march past the US diplomatic mission in Havana to protest US policy against the island's communist government for about 800 metres, walking slowly and with some difficulty.

"He is formidably well," Mr Housein told reporters at a conference on "satisfactory longevity" in the capital city. The press "is always speculating about something, that he had a heart attack once, that he had cancer, some neurological problem."

But Mr Castro is healthy enough to live at least 140 years, said Mr Selman, who heads a "120-years Club" that promotes wholesome habits for the elderly.

"I am not exaggerating," said Mr Selman, who believes people are capable of living five times the number of years it takes for the human body to fully grow - which he said is around 25 years.

Cuba's life expectancy, which is 76.6 years, is one of Latin America's highest, and just below that of the United States, which is 77.4 years, according to the CIA World Factbook.

Mr Selman is never far from Mr Castro and marched near the leader on Friday. He is one of 250 medical experts from Latin American and the United States participating in the longevity conference, which runs to Friday.

Cancer: (June 22—July 22)
Your emotional stasis, lack of imagination, and inability to tell right from wrong will continue to be valuable assets in the world of high finance.

They were only in office once, but it changed the world forever

They were five total schemers, with everything in common,
meeting for the last time
An idiot, a bitch, a dick, a prick and a liar.

Before their term was over, they broke the rules
Lost the world's respect,
And injured this country in ways
we never dreamed possible

They were.... the bushwacked club

To see the movie poster:
http://ludis.blogspot.com/2004_05_16_ludis_archive.html#108490327471301477

I have always been a long time communist.

Kinda. Less drug-focus, more art, personal creation, community involvement focus.

yes yes I see now, dare i say it "power to the....."

I can’t believe it, it’s like she didn’t say it just to spite me, and here I’m lying myself at her feet in respect of her great sacrifice. Lunkhead and every other name, but no cracker. Where were you guys? thought you had my back, tomorrow?

always been a lotta grasrooterz
they delighted with the company
lotta yongsters got heads on rite

HooooTaa!!!!
DE BE $#@%ed!!!!

NEW THREAD PLEASE

Please New Thread

phungus you are not a communist, you don't even know what it means.
Doesn't that bother you?

Off to conquer the world. The Iroquois have been getting uppity.

I love CivIII.

Whiskey anyone? Freely flowing now at mah place. I made it thru the whole 3 hours. And, I think, answered DTC's ?'s quite honestly, accurately, and without malice.

Did I do good? :P

Happy b-day lakermom - now get to work!

Iroquois?? are you?
me penopscot--- lil bit

hungus you are not a communist, you don't even know what it means.
Doesn't that bother you?
Posted by: terry wilke at May 18, 2004 11:28 PM

Datchu terry or personator?
phungus
ol airplane
fellow maniac!

>> Can't sarin be mixed with anthrax to
make a powder. And one of the most deadly
poisons
Posted by Darlenenbc at May 18, 2004 11:20 PM <<

There are other chemical weapons more potent than Sarin and anthrax. VX is one most advance country still use it beats sarin and anthrax by a wide margin.

The criteria of good biochem weapon:
-cheap to make
-easy to store for long time
-easy to deploy
-deadly

more info. Have fun.
http://www.fas.org/nuke/intro/cw/agent.htm

Iroquois?? are you?
me penopscot--- lil bit

Posted by terry wilke at May 18, 2004 11:30 PM
--------

Nah. Civilization III is a game, and the different players take on the names of world civilizations. England, Egypt, Germany, America, Zulu, Aztec, Iroquois, India... others, I don't remember right now. The play against each other, competing for land, cultural and technological achievements, military superiority, etc.

thought phungus troll?

Gay Boi Charlie

u a beauty!!!
best possible human!!!
smart!!!!!
Generous!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What we drinkin!!!!!!

okey, but me anz Roy Cohn were secret butt brothers under crazy Joe McCarthy. we compromised and sodomized suspected commies.

Civilization Part III was the name of the last project that Frank Zappa did.

It's great, BTW, if you're a fan at all.

ooohhh! check out Iroquois history, very hippie, very cool

thought phungus troll?

Posted by terry wilke at May 18, 2004 11:33 PM
----------

We seem to have adopted him. Like a naughty pet, or something. He's okay, and I think he'll come around eventually. The truth shall set him free.

K. Really gone now. *poof*

later v. have fun.

OK troll, doesn't mean we're gonna hold hands, but if you're salvagable i'm up for that

>> u a beauty!!!
best possible human!!!
smart!!!!!
Generous!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What we drinkin!!!!!! <<

Awwww... I'm blushing! Whiskey all around, SW. Peace all. G'night!

thought phungus troll?"""

thing change
when u
least expect it eh?
isn't that amazing?
been coool

Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand you rights, even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door.

Deepest Thoughts by Jack Handey

Americans, on average, spend nearly half an hour commuting to and from their jobs. Here are some tips to make the ride go more smoothly:

To ensure an orderly security-screening procedure, arrive at your corner bus stop at least two hours in advance.

An office carpool is a great way to increase your levels of stress, small talk, and coffee spilled in your lap, as well as the amount of time you spend with people you can just barely tolerate.

Don't take the train. Sooner or later, everyone who travels via train gets chased along the tops of the cars by crooks.

If you can bear to do without the showiness, you'll save a lot of time by killing yourself at home instead of at the office.

Public transportation is an efficient and environmentally friendly way for poor people to get to work.

Speeding causes 25,000 deaths each year, but unfortunately, it's the only way to get to work faster.

Drive-time traffic can seem unbearable, but remember: Your local drive-time radio hosts and their wild, zany antics are there to remind you that your life could be worse.

Commute using an autogyro. They rule!

Your choice of reading material for the bus is very important. Displaying Harry Potter books could get you mugged, but no one fucks with a guy reading "Surviving The Imminent Nuclear Holocaust."

Stay focused on the road. Try not to think about all of the wonderful experiences that await you on the roads that don't lead to work.

Tip your morning gondolier well, and he'll likely wait for you outside of your workplace in the evening.

Don't commute to work today. Instead, stay home and play games and watch cartoons, or maybe we can go to the zoo. (Tip submitted by Tommy, age 4.)

If the highway is congested and slows your commute, consider taking my way.

Stuck in traffic that won't budge? Why not take off your shirt and rub oil on your breasts—you, the redhead in the silver Passat.

When commuting, you're a cog in the intricate, well-oiled machinery of urban society. Remember, machine parts aren't supposed to weep.

OK i'll check that out cause i respect my fellow blogers unlike some of my "friends" who i really needed and they IGNORED ME.

cracker is that so hard? i'ma start early tomorrow, and you bastards better be there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This blog is really slow loading with almost 600 posts. Could you start a new thread??

I thought a post show thread was supposed to not be part of the show. Anyone with a dialup goes away now which is most people.

more info. Have fun.
http://www.fas.org/nuke/intro/cw/agent.htm

Posted by at May 18, 2004 11:32 PM

thanks, oh Joy we used them both.
sick

LOL-the onion rules!!

real post show post is up-

sorry

Post shows open

I fully support Terry's Cracker Resolution.

Gone are the times when we as individuals can afford to set back and let others tackle the really important issues. Lack of use of the word "Cracker" on MR could quickly get out of hand. We could have a mess. Do you want that?

You can no longer deny Terry on this, Janeane.

Relent.

Oh... that last Cracker post was me.

Switched boxes again.

Sneeb!!!

( no laughter)

waits, , ,, , , , , , , , , taps fot
Hmmmm

goesa next door to aftershow blog!
Bran new tent

../../../archives/000165.html

play the interview aleady!
you guys have been harping it to death.
play the interview already!
sick of waiting through commercials.
play the interview already!
worse than main media teasers
get to it already!